Friday, November 14, 2014

life is wonderful

I gave birth to Baby F at 9.31 in the morning of the 20th of October, a Monday, on my 38th week of pregnancy. Just like with my first, which was 6 years ago, I am two weeks early than the doctor's EDD. Sunday, we went to hear mass and because the church was just a stone's throw away, we just walked. Queerly, my legs felt heavy and so I turtle-walked the few meters to the church. Father Rex H. was in the middle of his sermon and boy, his voice was all ringing loud and clear all over the place. I had to brace myself and lean by the pew when I stand. The bearing down pain was starting to cause strain. At the end of the mass, Father pointed out 3 reminders. I was oblivious, until he said something about latecomers. Okay, that included us.  That was us. Blah, blah. Ouch, ouch!

After lunch I decided to take a quick nap to replenish my energy. I slept at 1 pm and woke up at 5pm. Right, no longer a nap but a full-blown sleep.

Still, later the night I resolved not to stay up late. I was trying to save energy. Something in me tells me, it's near. So I retired at 7 pm. Still wide awake at 11. That's when contractions started their consistent coming and going. My head started doing  a virtual checklist - discharge, peeing a lot, pain. I timed the contractions. Jotted down notes on my cp. My mother asked me every time I went to the CR and pee.

"Wala pa?" she’d ask.

"Alin ma?" I would ask with a bit of zest.

My mother was sure worried.  Although she knew I don’t welcome worry and panic and she tried to hide them, I could nevertheless sense them.

And then by past 12 midnight there was the bloody show. This is it, I thought.  Relief, excitement, bit of physical pain.  Still, excitement.  So, this is the big day.  October 20.

Dressed up, picked up the hospital bag, and we headed to the RHU birthing facility. Just as planned.

My mother, who is a registered midwife herself, called up our midwife, Nay Conching. Nay Conching is the resident midwife at the RHU while my mother is assigned another item.  
They are office mates and kumadres.

The night was a bit chilly and they all wore sweaters.  Everyone had the excited aura.  They probably saw it in me.  Nay Conching kept complimenting me.

At the RHU, I started pacing back and forth while Mama and Nay Conching fell into some job-related chat.  Mama made coffee for us three.  The birthing facility was air conditioned and the breeze outside felt Christmas.  I was feeling good.  But thank God, I thought, when they started talking about some birth disasters which Nay Conching had the occasion to handle.  I couldn’t even retell them now I might scare mom-wannabes who might read this. At that point, I paced back and forth all the more in front of them. And heavens, it worked.  They stopped and Nay Conching suggested that I lie down. 

               Gumana.  Nahilo si Nay Conching.

By 5am, still no progress, we decided to go back home.  Malapit lang naman. 
At home, I started feeling sleepy.  But before I can hit the bed, the pain got weirder.  I told mama we should go back, and we did.

I sat, stood, sat again and felt a bit restless. 
              Can I sleep?

Mama started feeding me with lugaw and I willed myself to eat, spoon by spoon. By then I felt the pain growing weirder.
               Heck, ba’t parang di ko alam to?  Pangalawa na, iha.

Been awake all night and now it's daylight.  My mind panicked amid its sleepy state.

               Where do I get my energy now?
               I’m gonna be nauseous.
               Mahihimatay ako sa antok.
               Ba’t ba ko inaantok?
               Advil.  
               Epidural. Painless, painject kaya ako.
               May cord coil si Baby F sa last ultrasound.
               Ano!?  Bilis!

But I checked again and felt within that I’m all well.  Damn, no excuse.

I moved to the delivery bed, if you'd call it a bed. Bawal kasi gumalaw mahuhulog. I told them I want to just sit down. And then Nay Conching told me she’d administer the dextrose and I said ok.
Waves of pain came. Pain, painful.  I breathed in, out, moaned, asked to be massaged at the back.  My whims  at my command, something I know I wouldn't get at a hospital or anywhere else. But the pain was awful. 

             Who does this?
             Who inflicts this kind of agony?
             Downright, sheer, damn painful.

Hubby came before 9am  and I slumped my head on his shoulder, arms around him and tried to steal some sleep. 

            Lord, pwede ba saglit umidlip? 10 minutes? Power nap?
            Tama na muna wave ng pain. Pwede ba?

The husband held on to me and kept asking if I was okay.  I couldn’t answer him.  Well, I was not, but felt that I was. I know, weird.

I dreaded each wave that came.  At 9am, Nay Conching predicted that by 12nn Baby F will be out. 

            Buhay pa kaya ako nun?

I lied down before 930am and braved the waves. I thought of Baby F.  This was supposed to be his day.

It was me and the pain.  Just us. 

            Okay, c’mon.

And then, Baby F’s loud cries bellowed inside the room.  9.31am.

My husband wiped something off at the corner of my eye.

And then I held him- Baby F, my little wonder, our miracle.


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