Nothing to post. I'm cleaning up my fb notes and I guess I have to save this one. Only because I loved the thought that I cursed someone in my head and I meant it big time. Haha. :-P ---
Sometimes I wish that we were little girls and boys who cared less about the world and the people around. Wish we can do the slightest mistake without being judged as if some other people’s existence depended on what you do and how you do what; when a tiny petty thing wouldn’t be taken against you and blown out of proportion like it already has a life of its own. And when others thought you were an angel, some little perfect miss, you suddenly want to scrape that halo off your head and unravel the red bony horns and flash those sharp, shiny canines and say, well, hello I'm not perfect.
Sometime ago (years ago actually), from work going home I take public utility transport, that which we call FX.
I flagged down an FX along with many other vying passengers. So while the car was yet to stop, people, including myself, managed to squeeze against one another to get inside the car. Maximum number of 15 people can get in. That’s the usual practice, the car yet to halt but people boarding. And if you want to get yourself a seat, your ass should be quick enough otherwise you can expect the moon shining on you.
I had the window seat – I like window seats in anything moving and has windows, the car, the train, or the plane. So I thought I was lucky.
While my head was still slightly swollen with triumph over the little bout, somebody, the one next to me adjusted herself, lifted her big bony butt and slumped on my thigh.
It was painfuI. I looked at her and didn’t mind because I thought , well, this is a carpool. People kinda hurt each other unintentionally especially when trying to settle themselves. Few seconds more, I felt a hard nudge on my side arm. Ouch! And then another one. Her (yes, she’s a lady, woman and later I’ll call her a monster) elbow jabbed my arm again. That one was raw and it was hard to think of it as an accident.
“Anu'ng problema mo?” I said. My arm and my thigh were whispering anguish. The pain was raw. My question was demanding and was least expecting a petty answer like “nothing.” I wanted a rather satisfactory answer.
She said “Nothing.” Impish smile.
Blood started to rush up my head, with her grin in it, and I knew I turned red, with anger. Well, my non-mestiza face had to struggle turning that color.
“Nakakasakit ka na!,” I told her, my voice so controlled.
She acted as if she did not hear anything and the nerve, nudged me again!
Okay, fu&%er! (excuse me Ma), I thought. You want this, you’ll get it.
I nudged her too. Hard. And then I lifted my right foot with that very pointy heel and punched it down on her foot, the
mid bony part. I saw the terror on her face as she looked down. Before she could even react again, I lifted my foot with the shoe and as the blood squirted out, she shrieked in horror.
I let out a demonic laugh.
Right. That was just my imagination. Hope you did not fall for that.
But I did nudge her hard, several times every time she moved, and really wished I did the heel-puncturing thing. But I’m not that evil.
The ordeal with her (read: the bitch) finally ended when she alighted first. It was only then that I realized that the other passengers were watching us. And that THEY WERE THERE! I was SO into the pain and the weird situation that I forgot it was all in public.
They looked at me and one said “Hayaan mo na, baliw siguro yun..” I felt so relieved and shocked and angry and embarrassed, I cried. I hated that I did, but what just happened was so weird, I just had to let those tears out. There was no better way to release those emotions.
I thought, evil things really are just lurking around and they pick their prey at random. And self-defense could be hard, especially when you’re caught without warning.