2. You lose rationality, logic or whatchamacallit that hinders you to wish that the earth would open up and swallow you.
3. You wish you’re deaf, mute and blind – you shut yourself out to to the world by literally shutting your door and locking yourself in.
4. You turn into a masochistic maniac – you employ physical means. You think you are Manny Pacquio and Hatton in one, you end up punching your own self.
5. You become The Destroyer. You always have the urge to wreck things up. You’ve already slammed your cellphone against the wall and now you’re looking at the television set.
Yes ladies, you guessed it up. These are the bizarre characters women turn into when male species employ devious means on you, such as:
1. Ignoring you.
2. Liking another girl.
3. Forgetting your birthday, Valentine’s day, your anniversary or even the first movie you saw together.
4. Not being able to take a hint.
5. Commenting less flatteringly about your appearance.
6. Practically doing anything.
7. Or doing nothing.
That from observation, I can say that no organism is as baffling, infuriating and as incomprehensible to women as ‘men’. That no general rule applies to them, except that they wear pants. But I know some guy friends who are mushier, more emotional than women, especially when in the clutches of love. Men, too, are as gossipy as women. Except that female gossip is mean and theirs is obscene. And then they wonder what we girls talk about in an “all-girls” rendezvous. The answer: You, men. We rate you, dears.
And doing a bit of research and the stark evidence from observation, I came up with the following:
1. Mama’s Boy – Men who are not for marriage, they are for adoption. They are so attached to their mommies, no woman could meet their standards. Given the chance, they would clone their mommies and marry them.
2. Black Holes – You could call a Black Hole everyday, follow him around, buy him presents, do his thesis and laundry, invent excuses to be with him, anything short of sending him a marriage contract with your and his name on it, he would not take the hint. Black Holes are so dense they cannot take hints. If you plan to marry with your hair having the same color as your wedding dress, find yourself a Black Hole.
3. Rock star – Tattooed, easy-go-lucky roadies. You will be in perpetual competition with his guitar, drums and whathavethey. You become his number one fan. He composes a song for you but after you broke up you learned that it was the same song he made for another girl. He just changed the part where your name is mentioned.
7. The Male Chauvinist Swine - The last but not the least, our favorite punching bag - The Pig. Men who believe that women are weaker sex and all other variations to that such as "Women's place is at home and in the bedroom." Yes perhaps they have physiological advantages over women like they could carry big things such as refrigerator and piano. This type of men is not for marrying. They're only for carrying refrigerators!
Whew! You may want to add some more or you could cross mix to make another category, like an ogle and a pig, an "oglypig". Huh?
But hey, I don't hate men. I didn't mention real men with abs everywhere and not anyone among those as above, right? And I have a dear brother and hubby although their abs are so-so, I adore them. I just kind of dislike men who are semblances or exactly those of the abovementioned with the exception of Nerds and Rock Stars. Rock Stars are hot.
Anyway, who do like them? Oh, their mothers.
And as if the above are not enough, I thought these are interesting quotes. For women. :)
One is "I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog." -- Wendy Liebman.
N.B. I read Jessica Zafra. And this article is a product of her inspiration and in fact, hers are most of the idea.